


What Comes Next

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7071994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a one night stand, Erin finds herself suddenly pregnant at forty nine. But Reid is not so certain that he wants a child at this point in his life, and tells her so. How will they deal with what comes next in their lives?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Spencer? We need to talk." Reid looked up at Erin Strauss, taking in the nervous way she bit her lip, and the way her eyes were rapidly filling with tears. "Would you mind coming to my office? I really need to do this in private."

"Whatever you want to say to Reid you can do in front of us, Erin." Her head bowed as Blake viciously hissed out her words and Reid once more felt a sharp stab of empathy for the woman. "So, spill. Are you firing him because of his headaches?"

"No, Alex, it's nothing like that. There's just a situation that has come up and I need to speak with him about it." He watched her touch her stomach softly and drew in a soft breath.

"I remember Helen telling me about this meeting earlier this morning. I'm free right now, let's go." He stood and rested his hand on her elbow, leading her from the bullpen and down to her office, ignoring the huffy noises Blake was making.

Erin was shaking by the time she opened the door to her office, ignoring her assistant, who glared up at him. If he didn't know better, the woman looked like she was ready to kill him, consequences be damned, for hurting her boss. "I'm going to be fine, Helen. This isn't his fault," she murmured softly as she closed the door, locking it to create a barrier between them and the outside world.

"I think I know what you're going to tell me. I thought you said that you couldn't get pregnant any longer."

"I didn't think that I could, Spencer. My period has been really erratic these last two years, and my doctor told me that I was well into menopause, since the women in my family tend to enter that state early. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry does not begin to cover this situation, Erin! Christ, how am I going to deal with a baby on top of everything in my life right now? You are going to take care of it, aren't you?"

Once more, Erin protectively covered her stomach with her hand, tears rolling down her face. "If by take care of it, you mean get an abortion, then no, I'm not going to take care of it. This is my body, my baby, and my decision. I want this baby and you can go fuck yourself, Spencer Reid. Get out of my office. Now!"

She was furious, he could see that and he slowly backed away from her, expecting her to lash out and hit him at any moment. Erin made her way over to her couch, sitting heavily as she sobbed. Her assistant came rushing in, glaring at him, as she sat next to her boss, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders. "What did you do to her?" she hissed as they rocked back and forth.

"Nothing, she just freaked out on me," he protested, backing towards the door.

"I highly doubt that, Dr. Reid. Leave, before you hurt her further."

He nodded as he spun on his heel, fairly fleeing the office. The rest of the team had gathered around Blake's desk and looked up at him as he entered. "Spence, is everything okay? You look really upset."

"I'm fine, Jayje. But why are we all standing around? Isn't there work to be done?" He sat heavily behind his desk, picking up the next file he needed to go over and trying to block the rest of them out. Finally, they took the hint and dispersed once more.

Reid couldn't help but look towards the elevators every so often, and finally he caught a glimpse of Helen and Erin leaving. She was still crying, he could tell by the way her shoulders shook, and another stab of remorse hit his heart. Looking up at the offices, he saw Rossi watching them as well. "Reid, come up and see me."

He was about to shake his head, but he saw the thunder of rage in the man's eyes and nodded instead, pushing back from the desk and making his way up to his office. "What can I do for you, Rossi?" he asked as he entered the room.

He closed the door and stared Reid down. "You hurt Erin."

"What does it matter to you? You guys broke up months ago."

Rossi's nostrils flared as he took a deep breath, obviously struggling to control himself. "It matters to me because I love her. While I wasn't in love with her, while things didn't work out between us, I still love her. She deserves respect and kindness. Not for you to treat her like garbage. I saw her leave here in tears. What did she tell you?"

Reid shrugged. "Nothing."

"That, kid, is bullshit. Don't give me bullshit. I know you slept with her, she told me about it. She was over the moon about feeling lovely for one night, especially after Alan called her the day before, trashing her once more."

Garcia chose that moment to peek her head in the door. "Honey, Erin's calling us. I'm going to run over and see what's wrong." She placed a protective hand on her stomach, and suddenly Reid recognized that movement. Gasping a little, he glanced between the two and finally put the pieces together. It had been almost a year since that disastrous proposal from Kevin, and while he knew that she had moved on, he had no idea that it was with Rossi.

Rossi nodded, smiling gently at her, before his gaze hardened as it fell on him once more. "If she's upset enough to call her sponsor, I want to hear one good reason why I shouldn't string you up by your balls here in the bullpen."

"A child should know its father?" he blurted out, suddenly looking scared. He did not want a pissed off Rossi hurting him.

"I suppose there is that. Penny wouldn't be very happy if I died before the kid got here."

Hearing the confirmation of his suspicions seemed to bolster him and Reid nodded. "There is that. Can I go now? I really have some work that I need to finish."

Rossi glared at him, assessing him, and he tried not to wilt or blanch under the stare. "I will get to the bottom of this, one way or the other. And if I find out anything negative, I will make certain you pay for it in spades."

Gulping, Reid stood and fairly fled from the room, scurrying back down to his desk. Blake looked at him quizzically, and he just shook his head, not wanting to get into it with the woman at the moment. It was going to be a long nine months.


	2. Chapter 2

Erin leaned against Rossi's car, knowing that Penelope would be down in a few minutes to comfort her. Slowly, she rubbed her hand over her stomach, trying to calm the churning feeling she felt. Hot, bitter, tears slipped down her cheeks and she closed her eyes, wanting to staunch their flow.

"Erin? Honey, what's wrong?" A soft hand closed around her shoulder, and she turned to face Penelope, shrugging a little. "Don't give me that. I know there's something going on. What happened between you and Reid? Davie said that you were on cloud nine when you ended up in bed with him a few weeks ago. Did he give you something?"

"I guess you could say that," she responded softly, looking down at her stomach. "Could we go somewhere and talk? I really want to drink right now, but I can't."

"Of course we can. I'll bring you to our home." She helped Erin into the car and she curled up in the passenger seat, continuing to rub her belly. In a few weeks it would be obvious that she was knocked up, and then all the gossip would begin. She didn't know if she was strong enough to go through that once more. "Have I told you our happy news? Perhaps it will bring a smile to your face."

Erin shook her head. "No, you haven't said anything to me. What's up?"

"We're going to be parents. A new little Rossi is going to enter the world in about seven months. Isn't that wonderful?"

Erin sucked in a deep breath and nodded as her tears began to fall faster. "That is such a miracle. He never thought he would have a second chance at fatherhood. What are you hoping for?" she asked, eager to get her mind off her own situation.

"I think he wants a little girl to spoil, but I think I'm probably going to end up with a boy. I mean, look at our track record. Both Jayje and Hotch had boys."

Erin nodded and then touched her hand to her mouth, suddenly feeling sick. "Penelope, could you pull over a second? I'm going to be sick." She felt the car come to a stop on the side of the road and she stumbled out to the grass before collapsing to her knees and retching. The taste of bile just seemed to set off her gag reflex all the more and she heaved.

"Erin, I'm here. Shh," Penelope said as she pulled her hair back from her face, holding on to her as she finally finished emptying her stomach. "Oh, sweetie, are you pregnant, too?"

She nodded absently, digging her fingers into the soft fabric of Penelope's shirt. "Yes. That's what I told Spencer this morning. He didn't take the news well." She let the woman help her to her feet and they made their way back to the vehicle. "So, now I have another reason not to drink, even if I wanted one."

Erin buckled her belt once more and Penelope finished the drive as quickly as she could. When she pulled into the garage of David's home, Erin felt like she was home. "Do you want to talk now, or take a nap? You look so tired, Erin."

"I'd like to nap, if you don't mind. I'll just head up to the guest room." Penelope nodded and then opened her arms. The tender gesture nearly broke Erin's heart, and she stepped into them, letting her hug her tightly. "You two will support me, right?" she whispered as she began to cry again.

"Of course we will, Erin." Softly, Penelope pressed her lips to Erin's forehead and she smiled sadly. Letting go of her, Erin went up to the guest room and collapsed on the bed, crying herself to sleep.

When she woke up a few hours later, she felt awful. Her stomach growled hungrily and she sat up and stretched, only to ram her hand into soft, giving flesh. "Penny?" she asked as she opened her eyes.

"Yeah, I was worried about you, Erin, so I watched over you as you slept. Hotch called a few minutes ago and would like you to call him as soon as you feel up to it. I think Dave may have told him a little of what's up, since he sounded really concerned about you."

Erin nodded and held out her hand for the phone. Quickly, she dialed Aaron's office number and waited for him to pick up. "Hotchner here."

"Hello, Aaron. This is Chief Strauss. I take it that Dave has told you a little of my predicament?"

"Only that Reid has upset you. Why? Is there something more going on here?"

She took a deep breath and reached out for Penelope's hand. "I'm pregnant and thinking about what comes next."

"And the baby is Reid's?"

"Yes. It was a one night stand, and I assumed that I wouldn't get pregnant, since my doctor had informed me that this was an impossibility. I don't want anything from him, Aaron, I just want to have this baby. I can't…"

Erin stopped talking, feeling the tears begin to choke her throat once more. "You don't have to choose that, if you don't want to. I can draw up papers that would absolve him of any responsibility to the child."

"Thank you, Aaron. I'm sorry, I have to go."

"I understand. Tell Garcia that she is to take tomorrow off and watch over you. You shouldn't be at work when you're this upset. Take a day to process the news, I'll let Shepperd know that you went home ill today."

"Again, thank you." Taking a deep breath, she disconnected the call and set the phone aside, looking at Penelope. "He said that we're to take tomorrow off and you're not to leave me alone." Biting her lip, she looked at her friend and smiled. "I really want this baby, Penelope. I don't know why, but I do. Abortion would never be an option for me, even though I'm pro-choice."

"And that's okay, Erin. That's why it is a choice." She nodded as she fell back on the bed once more, cradling her stomach as she cried. Feeling Penelope spoon up behind her, she nestled back, needing the comfort of a friend so much in that moment.

"I don't know why this hurts so much. I guess I assumed that he would be more understanding. Please, tell him that I don't want anything from him, I just want to keep this baby." Turning, she looked into Penelope's eyes. "I won't even ask for child support. If he doesn't want to see the child, he doesn't have to. Please, make him understand that."

Penelope reached up and wiped away some of her tears as she nodded. "I will, Erin. Everything will work out, whatever comes next." Her smile seemed to reassure Erin a little and she pulled her into a hug, needing to hold on to someone, anyone, at that moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Reid breathed out a sigh of relief as he watched Rossi leave for the day. He knew that his day of reckoning was coming, and he did not relish the tongue lashing he was sure to receive from the man when he realized just what was wrong with Erin.

Looking back down at his work, he continued with the report, trying to focus on that, not on the pregnancy. The baby. His baby. This certainly had never been in the cards for him, he wasn't certain that having a child would be a good idea. Not after losing Maeve, after losing every possible chance at happiness.

"Hey, Reid, care to talk?" He looked up at Blake, shrugging a little as he scrunched up his mouth. "Come on, something is going on here. First Erin takes you to her office for some bullshit meeting, then Dave pulls you up to his office while Penelope rushes out of here. Since it all revolves around you, you need to spill."

"Drop it, Blake." They both looked up at Hotch, and the look he gave Reid told him everything he needed to know. "I need to see you in my office, now."

"First Strauss, and now you. What is going on here?"

"That is none of your concern, Alex. It is between just Reid and myself. Now, if you would follow me, we have to talk."

Reid nodded, knowing in that moment that Hotch knew exactly what Erin's situation was. He stood up and began to follow after his boss, smiling a little at Blake, who just shook her head. Thrusting his hands into his pockets, he went into Hotch's office and let him close the door behind them. "How did you find out?"

"Erin told me. You can thank whichever deity you believe in that I kept up on my law license and can draw up the papers that will absolve you of any responsibility to the child. She isn't even going to seek child support." Hotch frowned at him, shaking his head in disgust.

"Don't judge me."

"It's hard not to when you treat someone like dirt. You slept with her, you got her pregnant, and it is your duty to treat her with integrity. And you have not done that in this case."

Reid's cheeks burned as he looked down at Hotch's desk. "It was just one night, it didn't mean anything more than trying to work off some steam. It is not my fault that she lied and got knocked up." He knew he was using his anger as a buffer to keep him from thinking about the fact that Erin didn't want them in his life. What he hadn't expected was the way Hotch reacted.

"You stupid son of a bitch." Looking up, he met his boss's angry gaze. "You are throwing away one of the most precious gifts you could ever be given. Get out of my sight, and take the rest of the week off. Think about your actions."

Reid realized that he had made a major misstep by acting angry, since Hotch was really angry with him now. "You can't do that to me."

"I can, and I have. Get out, now! And do not think about telling Blake this news. She is the last person that needs to know this."

He shrugged as he stood up and stalked from his boss's office, slamming the door behind him. Blake and Morgan looked up at him in surprise and he glared at them as he stalked over to his desk, picking up his messenger bag and then stomping over to the elevators. "Hey, kid, what's up?" Morgan asked as he jogged up to him.

"I got suspended for the rest of the week. Watch out, Hotch is on the warpath." Angrily, he ground his finger into the down button, wanting to get away from them all. "Screw this, I'm just going to take the stairs." Pushing past Morgan, he stomped over to the stairwell and began to head down to the parking garage.

Behind him, he could hear his friend following, his steps heavy on the stairs. "Kid, what is up with you?" he asked as he caught up with him at the bottom.

"I can't tell you. I'm not allowed to tell anyone what is going on." Some of the anger drained from his body as he turned and looked at Morgan. "Hotch seems to think that I am turning my back on something that I am going to want in a few years. I don't think he has any idea what is going on in my head right now. Suffice it to say, they don't want me, and they can go screw themselves." Pushing past Derek, he exited into the garage and stalked over to his car.

Derek was hot at his heels and stopped him from getting in his car. "You shouldn't drive when you're this angry. You could get into an accident. How would I break that news to your mother?"

Reid shrugged, but allowed Derek to lead him over to his truck. "I'm going to be a father," he whispered lowly as his friend started the truck up.

"What? With who?"

"Strauss. We had a one night stand, and she ended up pregnant. I knew, in the back of my head, that something like that could happen, but I didn't think it would. She told me today, and as you can see, I did not react well. You can't tell anyone, Derek. Seriously."

"What did you do to her?"

"Why do you think that I did something to her?"

"Because Hotch wouldn't suspend you if you hadn't done something to her."

Reid shrugged looking out the window. "I may have told her to get an abortion, that I didn't want anything to do with it. She became quite angry when I told her that."

"Any woman would, Reid."

"She's having Hotch draw up papers that dissolve me of all my parental rights." The reality of the situation finally hit him, and he frowned. "She doesn't want me in their life. My child is going to walk around without the knowledge of who their father is."

"It's starting to sink in, isn't it, Pretty Boy?"

Reid nodded absently, a tight feeling spreading across his chest. "A little. I messed up, didn't I?" Derek nodded and he sighed, shaking his head. "I have no idea exactly how to fix this mess I've created. And she's not going to let me off the hook very easily. Plus, I have Hotch, Rossi, and Penelope to contend with."

"You really do know how to step in it, Junior. I do not envy you in the slightest. Blake will have your back no matter what you do, though."

"And how about you? Do you have my back?"

"I am not going to be put in the middle here. Penelope is still my best friend, and Erin has become a friend, as well, since she spends a lot of time with Baby Girl and Dave. You are also my friend, and I feel sympathy for you, I really do. I can't choose sides in this situation. I'm sorry."

"I know, I just, where do I start? I know I acted badly, and that she's not going to want anything to do with me, but…"

"But you want to be a part of this child's life. I don't know what to tell you, Reid. Just, start slowly, woo her, try to befriend her. Look out for her, look after her. I'll see if I can get some hints from Garcia as to what Erin likes and you can go from there."

"Thanks, Derek. I'm lucky to have a friend like you."


	4. Chapter 4

Erin felt at ease as she stirred the pasta sauce in the pan, the scent calming her stomach. Penelope was nearby, working on the noodles and humming along to the music in the background. "What time do you think Dave will be home?" she asked suddenly.

"Well, if I hear rightly, I think he's pulling into the garage now. How are you feeling?"

"Tired. I was tired a lot through Tabitha's pregnancy, too, though. Helen's going to have to keep a closer eye on me. It was risky enough carrying her." She lowered her hand to her stomach, sighing deeply.

"Tabitha's what, thirteen now?"

"Yes. I had her when I was thirty-seven. Which, isn't that old these days, but she was a surprise baby, and I had just started my position as Section Chief. There was so much stress, and, I almost lost her. I had to go on bedrest for the last fourteen weeks of the pregnancy, and even then she came three weeks early." Another sigh slipped from her lips as she rubbed her stomach.

"Are you afraid that will happen again?" Penelope softly asked, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"Yes. And it probably will. I'm fifty now, Penelope." She broke off her thought, not wanting to vocalize her deepest fear.

"I will do everything in my power to make certain that you do not have anything to worry about. All right?" Erin nodded a little, accepting the tight hug that Penelope pulled her into.

"It will be harder this time, too, since I won't have the support of a lover. Now, I know that you and David will be by my side, but there is so much that I had to rely on Alan for. I never imagined that I would be in the position of single mother." She began to cry softly, burying her face in Penelope's shoulder as the woman rubbed her back in slow circles.

The door to the kitchen opened, and Erin could smell David's aftershave get closer and closer to her. "You'll be fine, bella," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around them, cocooning Erin in the middle. Hot tears began to roll down her cheeks once more as she nodded, letting her head come to rest against his chest.

"I don't feel fine right now."

"I should imagine not. Reid tap-danced on your heart today, so it is still very tender. But the food smells delicious. Is this what our babies were craving?"

She laughed a little at the sudden appropriation of her baby as part of their family, but knew that he was just trying to make her feel better, to make her feel included. "A little. Would you mind terribly if I was bad company tonight and went right to bed after supper?"

"This is going to be like Tabby's pregnancy all over again, isn't it, bella?"

She nodded and pushed away from him. "Maybe worse. I am thirteen years older, after all. But, oh, how I want this to go smoothly."

"Move in with us."

Penelope's words took her aback, and she turned to look at her friend. "I'm sorry?"

"We have the room, obviously, we're both going through the same experience, though you have more practice than I do, and I don't want you to get lonely. We can look out for you." There was a soft look of concern on the woman's face, and Erin found herself nodding a little. "I'm glad I didn't need to twist your arm to get you to agree to this. Davie, you don't mind, do you?"

Erin slid her eyes over to look at him, seeing the easy smile that had spread across his face as he looked at their stomachs. "No, I don't mind at all. And this way, you're closer to your children. Alan lives, what, ten miles from here?"

She nodded and placed her hands on her stomach. "Yes. I suppose I should break the news to them this weekend. Could I, that is, do you..?"

"Would you like to have a dinner party, Erin?" She felt her eyes grow wide as she nodded. "Why don't I see if I can get a chef to cater us in something. I seem to recall that you loved French food last time around."

A blush spread across her face as she nodded. "I'm surprised you remembered that, David." Penelope's cellphone began to ring, interrupting the moment and Erin turned back to the stove, stirring the red sauce absently.

"Um, I'm not at liberty to say where she is at the moment, Reid. And I doubt very much that she would even speak to you if I gave you her number." Erin flipped off the burner and looked at her friend, shaking her head vigorously. Penelope nodded, reaching out for her hand. She squeezed it tightly before threading their fingers together.

"Don't worry, bella," David whispered in her ear, rubbing her back lightly. "Let's get the food plated up while she talks to him." She was grateful for the way he led her over to the island, helping her up onto one of the stools. She knew that what he meant was she had to sit back and watch him do all the work. Which suited her just fine in that moment.

"You want to know what? Her favorite flower? Hollyhocks," Penelope spat out loudly, rolling her eyes at Erin. "And good luck finding a place that sells them, since they're a wildflower. You can bet your sweet ass that this will be worse than the Herculean tasks. Why? Because you destroyed her heart today. Nothing is going to change that. Goodbye."

Penelope stabbed at the end call button and exhaled forcefully. "I miss a handset a lot, too," Erin quipped, accepting the plate from David's hands. Finding herself famished, she dug right in as Penelope took the seat next to her, eating with the same gusto.

As the meal continued on, she started to yawn, feeling her head droop before jerking it back up. "This is a losing battle, Erin. You need sleep right now more than food. I think there's an old nightgown of yours still in the dresser. Kitten, run up with her and get her settled for the night."

She accepted the help down from the stool and held on to Penelope's arm as they made their way upstairs. "He really wants to send me flowers?" she whispered, feeling her heart begin to start sewing itself up a little.

"Yeah, but I don't trust his motives. He probably just wants to get on your good side for some reason. He's a snake in the grass, Erin. Don't go letting your heart get soft. All right?"

Erin nodded absently, rubbing her stomach in soft circles. "I'll try. But what if he wants us? What then? Should I just rebuff him? I know he hurt me this afternoon, but this is his baby, too. Maybe I was a bit hasty."

"No, Erin, you were not hasty. He made it quite clear what his intentions were."

"But I sprung this on him!" She worried her lower lip between her teeth as she took the nightie from Penelope's hands. "I didn't really give him much time to think about what had happened. If he really wants us, would it be so wrong to accept him in our lives?"

Penelope reached out and caressed her cheek. "I just don't want to see you getting hurt, honey. We'll support you no matter what decision you make here."

Erin nodded and then hugged Penelope tightly. "I'm so glad that we have tomorrow off. I really need to clear my head. Why did you tell him that hollyhocks are my favorite flower? You know that it's really tulips."

"Because hollyhocks are impossible to find right now, if at all. If he's really sincere, you'll get those flowers." Her friend reached out and tweaked her nose gently. "Now get changed and head to bed. I'm sure Davie will make breakfast for us in the morning."

Erin sighed as she turned and left the room. It was reassuring that she had people in her life that were going to support her through this, no matter what the future held.


	5. Chapter 5

"What do you mean it will cost me three hundred dollars if I want a bouquet of hollyhocks?" Reid said loudly, glaring at the woman behind the desk.

"They're not a flower we normally stock. There's not much call for wildflowers, most people prefer perennials or annuals. I'll have to have these flown in special with our next delivery from our fields in Michigan. You're lucky I'm only charging you this much. Do you want them or not?"

"Can I at least pick what colors are sent here?"

"There aren't really many colors. White, pink, maroon, and yellow."

"No yellow, if possible, please." His shoulders slumped as the woman nodded. "Thank you."

"What do you need these flowers for, anyway?" she asked as she put the order in.

Reid sighed, looking down at the countertop. "I found out that I'm going to be a father."

The clerk seemed to be able to read the truth behind those words as her eyes narrowed. "Now I'm wishing that I did charge you more. Are you going to pick these up, or do you want them delivered directly to her?"

He thought for a moment. He wasn't sure if she was going to be at her home, or with Rossi and Garcia, so he settled on the only good option. "I'll pick them up. When will they be here?"

"I'll get the shipment in tomorrow morning. If you come by at eight, you could have them then."

Reid nodded and pulled out his credit card, quickly paying for the flowers. "I'll see you in the morning, then." Turning, he walked out of the shop and sighed deeply. Morgan smiled at him from the truck and he nodded, climbing back in. "I have to come back in the morning. The flowers have to be flown in from Michigan."

"Do you want me to drive you, kid?"

He shook his head. "No, this is something that I have to do on my own. Do you think that she'll be at home?"

Morgan shook his head, not looking at him. That told Reid that he knew more than he was letting on. Reaching out, he gripped Morgan's arm hard, causing the man to look at him. "I can't tell you, Reid. I've been sworn to secrecy."

"So, she's with Rossi and Garcia, then. I'll just head over there tomorrow after I pick up the flowers. She doesn't have to see me, after all. I just have to get them to her." He took in the slight way Morgan's mouth tightened and knew he had called it. Now, he just had to talk himself into actually delivering the flowers.

By the time his alarm rang the next morning, his stomach was churning with nerves. Strangely, Reid wondered if this was what Erin had felt like when she had worked up the courage to tell him about the baby. Their baby.

Stumbling to the bathroom, he took a quick shower before dressing casually in khakis and a blue button down shirt. He seemed to remember that Erin liked blue, that she wore it a lot in the office, and he wanted to wear something that would be soothing to her, for some reason.

Not feeling up to eating anything, he padded out into the living room and pulled out a book. He smiled a little when he saw that he had chosen _Rebecca_ , a book he knew to be Erin's favorite, and he settled down on the couch, reading it despite knowing every word on the page already.

By the time he had finished, he had just enough time to make it to the store when it opened. Getting up, he set the book aside and picked up his keys, heading out. Jogging down the stairs, he soon reached the door and was stepping out into the cool morning air. Shivering a little, he hurried over to his car and quickly drove to the flower shop.

The woman from yesterday was just unlocking the door when Reid pulled up and he rushed over to help her lift some of the boxes. "Surprised that they're so light, are you?" she teased when he almost tossed them out of his hands.

"I had forgotten that flowers were so light," he replied, blushing a little.

"That's okay, thanks for helping me with them." Together, they entered the shop, and he set the flowers down. "It'll take me a few minutes to get the rest of the boxes off the UPS truck, have a seat and write a note to the mother of your child."

He found himself surprised for the second time that morning, and he nodded absently, drifting over to where she had pointed. On the table there were different sized cards, and he picked up a medium sized one and put the pen to his chin, thinking about what he could say to her to make this right.

_There are no words to apologize for the way I treated you, Erin. I only hope that these flowers tell you how sorry I am. I only hope that I can begin to rebuild the trust I shattered between us, and that we can reach a place where we can stand being in the same room as each other once more. Mea culpa, Spencer_

Sitting up, he looked at the words on the cardstock, and wondered if this would be enough. If Garcia was to be believed, though, she was going to make things extremely difficult for him. As well she should, he supposed, thinking about the way he had treated Erin. Maybe he did need to prove himself worthy to her, to them.

Reid looked over at the clerk and saw that she was wrapping his flowers in a lilac colored paper. The color made him think of Erin and he smiled as he picked up the card and ambled over to the woman. "That looks perfect. Thank you for taking the time to do that."

The woman smiled at him and nodded. "She'll want to get those in water as soon as possible. I've included a few packets of flower food, that should help keep the blooms alive for a few days. I hope she accepts the peace offering."

"It's the first of many hoops I'm going to have to jump through, our mutual friend is going to see to that. Maybe I need to jump through them."

The woman nodded and followed him over to the door. "Anyway, good luck." He nodded and set the flowers on the seat of his car before getting behind the wheel. Reid found that he couldn't bring his mind into focus at all during the entire drive over to the Rossi mansion, and the storm of his thoughts caused him to drive slowly.

Finally, he had reached his destination, and he pulled into the half-moon drive and parked. He stared at the steering wheel for several long minutes, trying to work up the courage to go knock on the door, to face her, to hand over the first part of his apology. "It's now or never, Spence," he muttered to himself, picking up the bouquet and climbing out of the car, taking slow, hesitant steps over to the door. Raising his hand, he knocked firmly three times, wondering what awaited him when the door opened.


	6. Chapter 6

"Is there someone at the door?" Erin asked as she looked up from her oatmeal. David had been very kind to make that for her when she had mentioned that she was craving it that morning.

"There might be, do you want me to go check?" Penelope replied, looking at her over her cup of tea.

"No, I've got it." She pushed her chair away from the table and went over to the front door. Taking a quick peek outside, she saw that Spencer was standing there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. "He brought flowers," she murmured, her heart fluttering in her chest. The anger of a few days ago was dimmer now, replaced by the fear and anxiety of facing her pregnancy alone. And so, it was easy for her to open the door to him, to look at him with kindness. "Good morning, Spencer."

"Erin. May I come in?"

She nodded and stepped aside. "We were just finishing up breakfast. My children are coming over later today, and I'm going to tell them about…well, about the baby."

He dipped his head, looking at her stomach, and then at the flowers in his hand. "I got you your hollyhocks. I hope you like them." Thrusting the bouquet out at her, he flushed a bright red, and she blinked back tears as she cradled them in her arms.

"Thank you. But I should let you know that these aren't my favorite flowers, Penelope just said that to be difficult. I love tulips, with all their beautiful colors and shapes." She smiled up into his face and sighed lightly when he smiled back. "Would you like to come in and talk for a little bit?"

"I'd like that, Erin." She nodded and reached out her hand, mentally kicking herself for the trusting gesture, certain that he would reject her once more. And then he clasped her hand, and her eyes fluttered closed as she fought not to cry.

"Hey, what are you doing here, Reid?" They both looked at Penelope, and Erin saw that she was frowning. "Did you get her the right flowers?"

"He did. Here, look, bunches and bunches of hollyhocks." She held them out to her friend and bit the corner of her lips as she smiled. "Would you mind putting them in some water and then having Dave run them up to my room? We're going to go talk."

"Are you sure that's wise, Erin?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'll be fine, and if things get out of hand, I know that you and Dave are here to diffuse things. I really want to talk, Penny."

"All right then, I'll leave you to it." Penelope stepped forward and took the bouquet before hugging her tightly. "I only want to protect you because I love you."

"I know, I love you, too. But I'm strong enough to do this." She pulled away and smiled at Penelope. "And a baby should know their father."

Spencer tensed a little beside her, and she wondered if she had said too much, if he wasn't ready to hear that. "There is that. Lunch is at noon, I think I heard Davie say that he's going to make us grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches."

"With tomato soup, I hope," she responded, watching Penelope nod. "You're more than welcome to stay as well, Spencer. There will be more than enough."

"We'll have to see," he said, squeezing her hand tightly. She nodded and began to lead him over to the study.

"Is there anything I could get you? I know Dave has some nice Scotch, though I'll be sticking to water."

"Water would be fine for me as well." She moved over to the cabinet where the drinks were kept and pulled out two bottles of Fiji water, handing one to Spencer before taking a seat next to him on the leather sofa. "So, you're pregnant."

"Yes."

"And it's mine."

A sharp stab of hurt struck her heart and she winced a little before replying. "Yes. You were the first man I'd been with in three months. There's no one else it could be." She covered her stomach protectively, and stared at the coffee table, trying to will away the bitter tears that stung her eyes.

"I'm sorry, all I seem to do is hurt you." She turned her head and looked at him, shrugging a little. "No, it's not all right. May I hold onto you?"

Erin was torn. A part of her wanted to agree, while a larger part of her screamed not to let him hurt her once more. "I don't want to get hurt any more this weekend by you. I need to save the last of my reserves for my children, since I don't know how they'll react." The tears she'd been fighting back began to roll down her cheeks and she looked away from him, not wanting him to see how weak she was.

"You were pregnant with Tabitha when I started at the BAU. I remember everyone treating you with kid gloves before you took off for maternity leave. I asked Hotch why you left so early, and he told me that some women have difficulties in their pregnancies. He told me how he and Haley had lost two babies already, and that, even though he didn't particularly like you, he was worried that you would feel that pain, too."

Erin gasped and met his eyes. "He said that?"

Spencer nodded and held up his arm. Surrendering, she scooted close to him, resting her head on his chest and listening to his heart. "I remember everything, thanks to my gift. I wonder if…if the baby will inherit that from me?"

"I don't know. I'm moving in here, until the baby comes. David wants to look after me, make sure that the baby stays in my womb for as long as possible. I could still lose it."

Those words hung in the air, sharp and full of hurt. It was her worst nightmare given life, and she wished she could have kept those words locked up tight in the vault of her mind. His arm tightened around her shoulders, and once more, she wondered what was going through his mind. "Erin, I'm sorry. You'll read the note I wrote, I just needed to say those words out loud. And if you lose the baby, I, I want to help you through that."

She nodded hesitantly, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent. "But I want this baby to be fine. I'd like to be in a relationship with someone who wants and loves this baby, who will support me through this process. I don't know if that's you, you haven't proven yourself to me. I need more than just pretty words."

"I realize that, Erin. Will, will you let me try?"

Erin pulled away from Spencer to look into his eyes, trying to figure out if he was being honest with her. "It's a commitment, Spencer. They'll bind us together for the rest of our lives, even if we don't become a couple."

"I know."

"All right, I will let you try. The first appointment with the OB is next Thursday. I'd like you to come along."

He nodded against the top of her head and then pulled her closer to him. "Even if I have to leave the case early, I will be there for you. I promise." And then, he dropped a soft kiss to the top of her head and she sighed, snuggling her face into the fabric of his shirt. It was a start, and more than her battered heart had hoped for.


	7. Chapter 7

Spencer squirmed awkwardly in his seat as he looked around the room at five hostile faces. The only one who was remotely smiling was Erin, and even that looked more like a grimace as she looked at her children.

"Really, Mom, you're knocked up?"

"Karen!" she replied sharply, slipping her hand off the table. Instinctively, Reid knew to follow suit, hooking fingers with her, offering her support. "I am pregnant, yes. We do not use such disrespectful terms, however."

"But, you let this, this, kid become the father of our little brother or sister. Don't you think that's a tad irresponsible?" Karen retorted, earning nods from Bruce and Tabitha.

Reid let go of her hand, noticing how she flinched at the movement. And then, he brought his hand to rest on her shoulder, a possessive move that did not go unnoticed by the others. "Your mother and I are adults who made a choice. She chose not to make me use a condom because she knew that we were both clean, since that's part of our yearly physicals, and thought that she could not end up pregnant at her age. While it is a statistical anomaly, it happened to us, and I am going to be here for her, even if you choose not to be."

She turned her head and gave him a tremulous smile. Leaning forward, he touched his forehead to hers, listening to her sigh, breathing in the soft floral scent of her perfume. "Are you guys in love?"

Bruce's question caused them both to stiffen and Erin shied away from him, focusing her attention on her plate. Penelope was glaring at him, and he shrugged before looking Bruce in the eye. "That remains to be seen, Bruce. Suffice it to say, I find myself developing deep feelings for your mother. After all, we share a child. And yet, I did something extremely foolish when given the news of my impending fatherhood, and now I have to earn her trust back. Once that is established, then we can see about other feelings."

A heavy silence fell over the room after he had spoken, and Erin still refused to look at him as she picked at her food. After a few moments had passed, though, she slipped her hand back off the table and poked his knee. He took the invitation and clasped her hand softly, running his thumb up and down the back of it.

Finally, though, the meal was done and Erin looked around the table, her eyes so sad when she looked at him. "Spencer and I are going into the living room to talk. Please, do not disturb us."

Penelope squirmed a little under the long look Erin gave her, and he tried to smile at his friend, even though she ignored the gesture. Sighing, he stood and helped Erin to her feet, not surprised when she plastered herself to his side, resting her head on his chest as they made their way to the other room. "Erin?" he asked once they were seated on the couch, and she reached up, resting her fingers against his lips.

"I just need a little time to rest. I was going to break down in there if I didn't escape. I love my children, Spencer, and they hate me right now. My heart, my heart…" Her voice trailed off, and he dropped a kiss onto the crown of her head without thinking. Erin sighed lightly at the gesture, snuggling in closer as she held onto his shirt.

Minutes later, he heard her breathing even out, and Reid knew that she was asleep. Sighing a little, he let a small smile spread across his lips as he began to run his fingers through her blonde hair. He couldn't help but wonder if their baby would be blonde, and the thought of a little girl with Erin's hair running around filled him with happiness. "Is Mom sleeping?"

He looked up to find her son standing in the doorway, a concerned look on his face. Reid nodded and gestured him closer. Bruce gave him a small smile before coming over to their side and then sitting on the floor in front of them. "She loves you all, you know that, right?"

Bruce jerked his head up and down twice, his eyes glistening with tears. "I do. It's just such a shock to find out that she's made a new life, one that doesn't include us completely. She's my mom, you know?"

"I do. I love my mother more than anything in this world." He paused, and then looked down at Erin. "That won't always be true, though. When this baby comes, I will love it the most. I know that this is not the scenario you would have pictured your mother in, but I really want to try having a relationship with her. After I make up for the way I treated her."

Bruce frowned at him. "What did you do?"

"I told her that I did not want this baby, and it would be better if she took care of it. I wasn't thinking straight at the time, and I do not deserve even this small bit of kindness that your mother is showing me." Bruce glared at him, and Reid could see the thoughts crossing across his face.

"If you hurt her again, you won't get a second chance to apologize." The words were full of dark promise, and Reid nodded solemnly.

"I swear to you, on this child, that I will do everything in my power to be everything that your mother needs me to be throughout this pregnancy. Will you swear to make things easy on her as well? She's going to need all three of you by her side as these months go by. She's not at an ideal age to be having a child."

It seemed like the boy hadn't even thought of that, as his eyes grew wide. "Yes. We'll protect her together. I swear." Reid nodded and watched as Bruce leaned in, kissing his mother's cheek. Then he stood and gave Reid one last, searching, look before leaving them alone once more.

"Oh, Erin," he murmured, once more running his fingers through her hair. She nuzzled up against his hand, a small smile spreading across her face. "You need to wake up, Erin. You shouldn't fall asleep on the sofa."

She groaned a little as he started to shake her shoulder, trying to wake her. The smile turned to a frown as she stretched and looked up into his eyes. "What?"

"Are you staying here again tonight?"

She nodded. "Why?"

"You are exhausted. We, well, I'm the cause of that. Could I take you up to your room?"

She nodded, giving him another tired smile. "I would like that, Spencer." Slowly, she got up and then held her hand out. He clasped it and she closed her eyes as she threaded their fingers together. "Follow me."

Reid gave her a tiny nod, keeping a pace behind her, never letting go of her hand until they were on the second floor. "Is this the same floor that Rossi and Garcia are on?"

"Yes. They're at the west end of the wing. My room is on the east end." The way she tightened her grip on his hand told him that this made her immensely happy, and he squeezed out a soft rhythm to let her know he knew. She picked up the pace and turned them to the left, down to a door at the end of the hall.

Opening it, she pulled them over to the bed and then turned to smile at him. "The sun must shine right on you when it comes up."

"It does." She yawned deeply and began to tug her sweater over her head. "Stay?"

The soft question threw him off guard and he blinked twice. Erin's face shuttered a little and he reached out, caressing her shoulder. "Yes." She smiled in relief and then shimmied out of her skirt.

"Thank you. Just, sleep in your boxers." He nodded as he watched her slip off her bra, bending to pick up her skirt. Then she set her clothes in the chair next to the bed and pulled up the covers before crawling beneath them and looking at him expectantly. He took the hint and hurriedly stripped down to his boxers, putting his clothes atop hers. Then he crawled in next to her, his arm coming to rest around her waist. It fit like it belonged there, and she sighed sweetly as she pushed his hand onto her stomach. "In about three months, you'll feel the baby kick."

"It freaked me out when JJ let me feel Henry kick. Do you think that it will be different this time?"

"Perhaps. Seeing as how it's yours." A soft groan escaped her lips. "I'm sorry, I'm going to sleep now." She turned in his arms and nestled close to him, letting her forehead come to rest on his chest. Within moments, she was asleep and he smiled, letting himself relax enough to follow her.


End file.
